It's another sleepless night. I have no trouble falling asleep when my head hits the pillow the first time, it's only a problem if I wake up during the night and then I can't fall back asleep. So needless to say, I get a lot of "planning" done in my head as I lay there thinking of everything that needs to be done. I am retired and don't really have a lot on my plate (on a day to day basis) but I mentally plan every event of my life while trying to go back to sleep. Sometimes I have been conscious enough to write things down during my brainstorming minutes, but mostly it is forgotten by the time I actually need to "act on it". So goes the senior years. I do think my most frustrating times are losing my memories. I am glad I did journal regularly for awhile (during my peak mom years) so I can go back and read it, but for the most part, details are fading away and that makes me sad. I love being with my sisters and reminiscing about our childhood, it helps keep the memories alive. And now I have started to journal again on a regular basis to be able to share as many memories as I can with my prosperity.
I remember thinking during our younger days that what I really wanted to happen (in my perfect world) was for my mom & dad to own a big piece of property and then each of my sisters and I and our families could all live on a compound, each having a separate house but a common playground, swimming pool, bbq area, etc. I'm sure no one else would have liked my perfect world scenario, but I dreamed about that for years. I loved living near my sisters and loved the closeness of the cousins. Then, later in life, as my family grew, I had the same thoughts of a compound only this time with my grown kids and their families living surrounding us. My perfect world is not a reality and I have come to except that fact, but I still hate that I can't have everyone that I love close at hand on a daily basis.
Okay, I just re-read this post and realize it is a little depressing, but that is how I am feeling right now, a little funky. I know this too shall pass. Life goes on, more memories are made and more memories may be lost by some but a new generation can take those memories and pass them on and the circle of life continues. What a wonderful plan our Heavenly Father has created! FAMILIES ARE FOREVER
Monday, June 7, 2010
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